DealerKnows » comedy

Unique Vehicle Descriptions

admin — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:31:44 +0000

The unlikely event when a customer chooses to purchase a vehicle based on the mundane, unnecessary descriptions of features that the vehicle is listed with online.
Debuted at the 11th Digital Dealer Conference – during the session – Merchandizzle
Starring:
Joe Webb
Arnold Tijerina
Bill Playford
Tim Hommer
Written and Produced by:
Joe Webb
Directed by:
David Hudson

A Sneak Peek at the Merchandizzle Videos – Digital Dealer 11

admin — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 21:00:13 +0000

Want to know why you should see the session titled “Merchandizzle” at the upcoming 11th Digital Dealer Conference? Here is a sneak peek of some of the comedic videos you’ll be seeing at the event. See it month’s before they end up online.

Guy Internet – A Trainer to Fall in Love With

admin — Thu, 05 May 2011 20:54:36 +0000

Are you getting what you need from your current Internet training? Guy Internet and his Drive Shaft team will blow your mind with results. (An obvious spoof at another ill-conceived and failed training program. Just more car sales comedy from Joe Webb.

The Great Joe Webb Video Contest

admin — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 15:09:00 +0000

As many know by now, I just developed a Contest for Car Industry folks. With all of my comedic car sales videos floating around out there, I get calls and emails from folks in our industry asking to be in one of my skits all the time. Well here is your chance.

For those that know me, they know that, above and beyond my crazy and comedic sensibilities, I pride myself on being a family man first. Well, in 2 months, my wife and I are proudly expecting our 2nd child. So here is the contest: If you can guess (on your 1st guess) right here on this thread the weight of my child at birth, YOU will get to star in one of my next comedic car sales videos I film. Just leave your comments at the bottom of this post!
I’ve included the current guesses I received on my Facebook page post for this contest below.

Rules:
1) No hints should be shared by those that know anything.
2) It must be made within a week of this post.
3) t must be exact – not closest. This isn’t Price is Right rules.
4) If, for any reason, a weight is already taken by another guesser, feel free to choose that same weight. If for any reason the person is unable to make the video shoot, you will be chosen.
5) Logistics will be worked out later. Whether we will come to film near you, you will come to us, or we will film in a centralized city, it will be decided on later.
6) My goal is that these videos will debut during one of my speaking sessions at a fall automotive conference.

Good luck.

In order of guesses,

Arnold Tijerina ‎8lb. 10oz.

Friday at 8:29am ·
Brent Durham ‎7lbs 11oz

Friday at 8:34am ·
Terry Powell ‎7lbs 14oz

Friday at 8:42am ·
Ed Kiel ‎1st, congrats 2 three of you, 7lb, 4oz.,, oh yea, and beautiful.

Friday at 8:48am ·
Ryan Green The baby will be a healthy 7lbs 15oz, and if it’s a boy you should go ahead and name him Chevy (you know you want to!).

Friday at 9:39am · · 1 person
Allison Corado CONGRATULATIONS!! 6lbs 8oz! So excited for you!

Friday at 9:48am ·
Kevin Frye ‎8lb 5 ounces, and named after me…

Friday at 10:07am ·
Tim Webb ‎8lbs 1oz of Homegrown happiness!

Friday at 10:21am · · 1 person
Paul Jimenez ‎7 lbs. 6oz

Friday at 10:29am ·
Tony Kimbro ‎7lbs 8.5ounces

Friday at 10:32am ·
Eric Miltsch ‎7lbs. 7.5oz.

Friday at 10:40am ·
Tanesha White ‎6lbs 8oz and you should want me in your skit anyway!

Friday at 10:42am ·
Aaron Kominsky ‎7 lbs 3 ounces

Friday at 10:50am ·
Craig Shogren Not a car industry folk, but still like a contest….7 lbs 1 ounce

Friday at 11:10am ·
Kaleb Curtis I’m not in the car industry, but I’m a sucker for pool bets. I’ll go 8 lbs 2 ozs

Friday at 12:02pm ·
Stan Sher I would say 8 pounds 8oz

Friday at 12:43pm ·
Ryan Green I think these videos need to be classified as an all new genre. How about “Informative Automotive Sketch Comedies” or “Infocarcoms”

Friday at 1:15pm ·
Aj Maida Stan Sher stole my number…he has been known to telepathically read mens minds…the rules clearly state that there can be no clues…therefore Stan should be summarily dismissed for using his superpowers

Friday at 1:31pm · · 1 person
Manny Luna ‎7lbs 7 ounces If I win I would like Stan to co-star please…

Friday at 1:32pm ·
Aj Maida Ok all that being said and even though I can’t use my own birth weight on a post started on my birthday because Stan cheated I’m going to go with 8 pounds 7 Oz.

Friday at 1:33pm ·
Daniel Kortmann ‎9/11 that fateful weight

Friday at 2:01pm ·
Tim Webb April 3 eight lbs 13 oz

Friday at 3:06pm · · 1 person
Richard Lucy Weightless on the International Space Station.

Friday at 3:55pm ·
Edward Shaffer ‎8lbs 4oz

Friday at 4:17pm ·
Sean Stapleton ‎7.9

Friday at 10:51pm ·
Bill Playford ‎9lb 3oz (I’ll be in the video anyway)

Saturday at 8:45am · · 1 person
Tim Jennings ‎8.3 my friend

Saturday at 9:08am ·
Jessica Adp Fielding ‎8.6 oz

Saturday at 9:10am ·
Eric Hippen Pretty awesome! How about 7lbs 11oz

Saturday at 9:56am ·
Glenn Pasch ‎7 lbs 5 oz

Saturday at 1:20pm ·
Bill Goodfriend Congratulations first of all. My guess is 7lbs 6.5oz. : -)

18 hours ago ·
Suthida Singharuksa ‎9 lbs 8.2 oz

12 hours ago ·
Debbie Hall His Grammy says,, 9 lbs 4 oz:)

12 hours ago ·

Car Sales Comedian from the South

admin — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 21:17:29 +0000

Buford Beauregard is a former car-selling superstar turned acclaimed stand-up comedian from the south. Buford sells out trailer parks nationwide with his comedic act about automotive internet sales and is known for his catchphrases “Ain’t she a beaut!” and “…you might not be an e-Dealer.”

*It is well known that he is not related to Joe Webb, but does often use Joe as his opening act. Likely, based on the accent and hairstyle, Buford originates from either Alabama, Arkansas, or Mississippi. He cannot recall. But what he does know is automotive sales and digital marketing tactics.

Stop the Clock (Joe Webb)

admin — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 14:52:21 +0000

How important is response time when handling leads? Not very, if you check out this comedic video about automotive internet sales by Joe Webb of DealerKnows Consulting. Spend the time to respond with quality content if your goal is to elicit a reply from them.

The Not Good Interview

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:45:29 +0000

A car sales manager interviews a potential employee using only closed ended questions – with hilarious results. Written by Joe Webb and Performed by Joe Webb and Dave Hudson of D Hudson Productions in Chicago, The Not Good Interview details the importance of knowing how auto dealers should interview and what questions (open ended and closed ended) to use to find the right candidate. Also known as the “Jez” video.

Joe Webb’s Proper Car Etiquette While Dating

admin — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:21:48 +0000

To tell you the truth, I knew almost nothing about cars before entering the auto industry. Zero. Zilch. I’m not ashamed to say it. I was selling cars for three weeks before someone explained to me (and showed me) the difference between alloy wheels and hubcaps. True story.What I did always seem to know was how important a role that proper car etiquette played in dating. There are definitely “rules of the road” that a person in the dating world must take into consideration when attempting to make an impression on that certain special someone. I thought it would be fun to list some of the proven (and chivalrous) right ways to use your vehicle on a date as well as a few of the wrong ways. The Do’s and the Don’ts, if you will.

If you have your own practices, whether they are generational or age-related, regional in nature, or gender-specific, please add them. I thought this would be a fun, entertaining, and comical way to remind us the many ways cars shape and affect our lives – away from just the sales and service of them.

Do: Park your vehicle’s passenger side closest to the front door if possible when arriving at your date’s home.

Don’t: Park your vehicle out of sight from the home. When walking back to the vehicle, it makes them feel as if you are leading them to certain doom.

Do: Walk up to the date’s home to meet them.

Don’t: Lay on the horn repeatedly until your date hurries out of the home.

Do: Open up the passenger door for your date.

Don’t: Stand back 10 feet and watch as they get in the car by themselves, all the while creepily biting your bottom lip.

Do: Walk around the back of the vehicle to the driver’s door after closing your date’s door.

Don’t: Walk around the front of the car so your date can hear you mentally psyching yourself up for the night. (Pointing at your own face “Don’t screw this up! Don’t screw it up, you stupid S.O.B.”

Addendum: In days before power locks, it was only proper for the date to lean across and unlock the driver’s door for them.

Do: Have your radio turned off when you start the vehicle. If you know your date’s music genre of choice, a low volume radio station (not a CD – looks planned) can be turned on.

Don’t: Have speakers blasting hardcore gangsta rap, raucous heavy metal, or boy band music. It will either turn off your date or frighten the crap out of their parents still inside the home when they hear you blaring Eazy E’s song Hit the Hooker.

Do: Ask if the date is comfortable and adjust the air/heat to their liking.

Don’t: Demand that YOU put on their seatbelt for them and make animal noises as you drag the belt across them.

Do: Drive at a reasonable rate of speed and obey traffic signals.

Don’t: Drive recklessly and be overcome with road rage by cursing other drivers with sayings such as “I hope your BMW strikes a median and your family is engulfed in a ball of flames!” or “This funeral procession is the bane of my existence. Who do they think they are?! It’s not like the person in the hearse is in a hurry.”

Do: Make casual conversation.

Don’t: Talk about your car like it is a person. “She’s got an Orion subwoofer in the back. I give her bathes thrice weekly.”
And don’t speak about lascivious areas of your car – “Check out how big that back seat is.” “Hey, you ever see the inside of a trunk before?”

Do: Consider taking your date to a drive-in. They are still magical places.

Don’t: Drive to a completely deserted part of town and educate your date “This is where my uncle used to bring me when I was young. He should be getting out soon.” (then shiver).

Do: Wait until your date enters their home before you drive off. Make sure they get in safe. You don’t want them stuck outside. (If walking them to the front door is not necessary).

Don’t: Slam the door shut behind them and peel off dangerously down the road while screaming “Back to the motel room so I can get my drink on!”

These are just a few vehicle tips on how to handle yourself when on a date. I’m well past the age (or need) of dating so I’d like to hear from those others who are willing to share similar advice, as well as from those young single folk out there who have more up-to-date experiences.

Just another Joe Webb “car guy” creation.

Five Senses

admin — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 05:24:19 +0000

There are several tricks of the trade to employ while test driving customers. Even with the simplest of instructions, without proper training, every salesperson can get it wrong from time to time. Who is the unfortunate victim of poor training? The customer. Especially in this instance. Another Joe Webb car guy creation.
Starring John Schrimpf and Anthony Pollina

The Lead

admin — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 00:48:53 +0000

- In this clip I wrote and filmed, you will see the three ways that dealerships are handling leads. You will see the wrong way, the DealerKnows way (the correct way), and the worst way.
to adapt smart lead management and positive first responses in your store, contact DealerKnows.